Geraniums at Norma Jane's Restaurant 03-26-11
Lunch today with my friend Toni at Norma Jane's restaurant (where I had dinner last Tuesday). Toni is one of those friends that I might not talk with for months, but when we get together again we just pick up where we left off. Our original connection was through quilt making, but Toni now is spending more time on her violin and hasn't much time for quilting. But it doesn't matter, she is still interested and I am always interested in hearing about her music and what is happening in her life. .
At seventy-two I am still trying to figure out friendships - in all their variations. Why is it easier to make friends with one person rather than another? I have known ladies for thirty years and don't feel any closer to them now than when I met them. And with others there is an instant rapport that continues regardless of time or distance. I always feel terrible and guilty when someone "drops" me and I don't know why. It would be painful, but it would be over more quickly, if we could just tell someone the truth about ending a friendship. Don't you think? I once called a friend six months in advance to invite her to a program I was giving and her response stopped me cold. Without hesitation she said, "I won't have time.". What could I say? Something like, "I'm sorry. If you change your mind give me a call." She has never called and I still miss her in my life. I always admire people who are still friends with people they met in kindergarten. Why can't I do that? I always think it is my fault, but have no solution. I can only think of about five people who I don't want to be friends with and I don't think they want to be friends with me.
4 comments:
I often wish we were closer since I suspect we could have a really fine time together. Who can decifer the mystery of friendships?
It's always really hard when friendships end abruptly and it sort of feels like a kick in the teeth. You aways wonder what you did wrong when it's most likely just human nature. Not everyone is good at friendship. It seems to me you are.
You're terrific at friendships, missy!!! Don't cut yourself down!!!! XX
Hmmm...this calls for a whole discussion but I'm going to bed instead. friendship: a whole other philosophical question. When my daughters were young, they talked about "real friends" and "fake friends." ANd they always instinctively got it right. This woman sounds like one of the latter - and rude, to boot. YOu have real friends (shall I raise my hand?) who love you. Now I really AM going to bed.
oxox
This is a painfull subject. I always had lots of good friends and three "best friends." Well, my three best friends are gone now. Many of my good friends have moved far away. I still have a few nearby but they are not as special as my best ones. I've been trying to meet new friends and have not had one of those instant connections, yet.
I treasure my online friends. They are so important to me, but I wish we were living nearby.
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